During the Christmas holiday I was quickly reminded about what it means to be human. Not in the giving and compassionate way - but in the mother of children on Christmas morning way.
On Christmas morning as I sat with my family and witnessed the JOY of receiving, I felt myself slip into a place that surprised me. I began to panic. My heart was racing as my eyes were darting back and forth from excited and JOYful children to a chaos of wrapping paper and garbage that seemed to be invading every corner of my living room. I was consciously trying to talk myself down from an absolute breakdown. The feeling was overwhelming. All I wanted to do was have order in my house; to clean up the mess. After the presents were opened, the clean up began. Once the wrapping paper was picked up I looked around in disbelief to realise the mess was still everywhere. 3 children and 2 adults worth of new stuff. I began to panic again at the thought of having to find new homes for all the new stuff. (let alone the momentary absence of gratitude for the ability to have so much new stuff! Sheesh!) Pine needles from the Christmas tree were everywhere, the packaging from opened toys was everywhere. There was glitter from my daughters new princess toys EVERYWHERE! I was annoyed with glitter for goodness sakes! My heart was racing...
Then I stopped.
And I breathed. Deeply.
I looked around again at the faces of my family. The JOY on their faces. How would they remember Christmas Day? A day of fun and wonder? A day of JOY? A day of love? A day that mom was anxious about cleaning up? A day that mom demanded order? The answer was obvious.
I chose JOY.
I have 363 other days to clean up the mess.
Blessings ~
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